Turn taking is one social communication and play skill that can be very difficult for kids with language delays, language disorders, autism and other special needs. It’s a wonderful skill to work on during therapy sessions, throughout your child’s school day and while at home. Sometimes it can be difficult to know where to start. Here are a few steps that you can follow to help your child begin to understand turn taking as well as to take turns with friends and family.
Step One: You will need a “wait” visual.
There are three key concepts with using visuals. First, if the visuals are difficult for you to find and access, you are not going to use them. Make lots of copies of your “waiting” visual and place it everywhere: in the car, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in your purse, etc. Secondly, if the visuals aren’t easy for you to use, then you are not going to use them. So start slow. If you try to do everything at once or use it all day long from the start, it will be hard. Start with a few hours a day and then increase your time using them each day. Third, it is important that you change your child’s visuals as they learn and grow. If their visuals are not dynamic, then it will be harder for your child to be dynamic.
Step Two: Work on “waiting” throughout your day by giving your child the waiting picture and singing a “Waiting Song”. At the KidSpeak office we do a little chant: “Waiting – clap clap – waiting – clap clap”. We repeat this over and over again until waiting is finished. Adding in the physical clap really help children with waiting. You can work on waiting all day long: waiting in line in the grocery store, waiting for popcorn to pop, waiting for the bath water to fill, waiting for mom to pour your drink, waiting for the next toy, etc. The more you work on waiting, the easier waiting will be. Your child will need this skill for turn taking.
As your child begins to understand “waiting”, then you want to change up your cues and transactional supports to help them continue to make progress:
1) A third of the time try just singing the song and not giving your child the visual
2) A third of the time give them the visual and say, “wait” without the song
3) A third of the time do your same routine with the visual and the song but focus on what they are waiting for, “waiting for Mommy,” “waiting for milk,” etc.
Once your child is waiting in different environments and in different ways, then they are ready for turn taking. Remember even though they may be ready for the next step, you still continue working on your waiting routine.
Step Three: You will need a “my turn” visual. At the KidSpeak office we use a “my turn” visual that’s shaped like a teepee which makes it easy to use. Also remember to make copies and place the visuals everywhere throughout your environments.
Step Four: Now it is time to work on turn taking. First pick an activity that enables you and your child to have the same or similar toy like cars or farm. Cars are a great place to start. While you are playing cars, take out two cars and show your child the “my turn” visual and say “Amanda’s turn red car” and “Mommy’s turn blue car”. Play with the cars for a few minutes. Then trade. Physically help your child trade cars, show them the “my turn” visual and say “Amanda’s turn for blue car” and “Mommy’s turn for red car”. Do this same routine over and over. Once they do well with this routine, then try to change it up by using different cars, adding in a third familiar play partner, play using the same routine with different toys (dress up, action figures, animals, etc.).
Remember while you are playing to use the transactional supports that help your child increase their play skills the most (visuals, singing, familiar routines, etc.).
Once they are doing well with this skill, it is time to move on to the next step. Remember even though they may be ready for the next step, you still continue working on this routine.
Step Five: Now pick a fun art activity like watercolors, coloring, markers or dot paints. When you first take out all your supplies, start by showing your child the “my turn” visual, say “Mommy’s turn paint” and place the “my turn” visual in front of Mommy. Then take your turn super fast. Next, show your child the “my turn” visual, say “Amanda’s turn paint” and place the “my turn” visual in front of them. Continue this routine over and over.
Remember while you are playing to use the transactional supports that help your child increase their play skills the most (visuals, singing, familiar routines, etc.).
As they begin to understand this routine, you can change it up by showing them the picture and pausing, allowing them to use their words and regulate turns.
Once they are doing well with this skill, it is time to move on to the next step. Remember even though they may be ready for the next step, you still continue working on this routine.
Step Six: Begin to use this language in your daily life! Throughout your day begin to focus on using “my turn” and “waiting” as much as you can while using the visuals, the words and the waiting song such as: while passing out drinks for meal time “Mommy’s turn drink” “Amanda is waiting” – “Amanda’s turn drink”; when passing out snack “Mommy’s turn apple” “Amanda is waiting” -- “Amanda’s turn apple”; during book time “Mommy’s turn book” “Amanda is waiting” – “Amanda’s turn book” “Mommy is waiting”; etc. Start with them waiting like one to five seconds and then each day slowly build on this.
Step Seven: It is now time for games! Start with a fun and easy game like The Fishing Game. Kids typically love this game.
Start by each of you playing this game together and you each have your own fishing pole. Create a fishing game routine. We like to sing a little song: “Catch a fish catch a fish catch a fish. Look, Amanda caught a pink fish”. After a few days of this then begin to take turns by only using one fishing pole. Start with “Mommy’s turn fish”. Then take your turn while you sing the song. Then say “Mommy’s turn is finished. It’s Amanda’s turn fish”. Then help them take their turn and sing the song. Continue this routine. Remember they may get upset when it is your turn. That is okay. Just keep going while focusing on taking two turns one day, then three turns the next day and so on.
Here is a helpful video about games and turn taking: http://www.autismspot.com/videos/Board-Games-fun-and-learning-go-togethe...
As your child becomes better with turns within the fishing game, then it is time to change up their routine by adding more people to the game, playing different games and more.
Step Eight: Practice makes perfect! Continue to work on all the skills above throughout your entire day. Soon your child will be ready to engage in more complex turn taking skills such as talking about their friend’s turn, talking about who goes next, talking about who goes first and much more.
Remember that every child is different. Some children may go through steps one through four within the same week or even the same day. While other children may need to focus on step one for a few weeks. The key for your child to learn turn taking is that you go at their pace.
We hope you enjoy helping your child build up their turn taking skills!
~KidSpeak, LLC
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